(1) We are delighted that you want to expand membership of the Party in every part of the United Kingdom.(2) Does the Ulster Unionist Party genuinely wish to become absorbed into the Conservative Party? Can we be sure there is no hidden agenda? Images as seen from London may be viewed very differently in Northern Ireland.
(5) New members wishing to join the Conservative Party should have to complete individual membership forms which should contain the clause "I am not a member of another political party." There should be no bulk merging of names. This could be done by sending individual membership forms to the Ulster Unionists on 1st January 2009 with an invitation to join the Conservative Party.Incidentally the Party’s web site application forms should include the above clause also.
(6) It is vital that the untainted and non-sectarian image of the Conservative Party in Northern Ireland be preserved, since we are open to members from any other party, or none. There is clearly concern that the Party’s image could be tarnished by the history of sectarian baggage associated with the Ulster Unionist Party. (David Trimble’s televised jig with Ian Paisley after the Orange Parade in Garvaghy Road is still remembered, as is his attacks on the Conservative candidate (a female Catholic) at the time of his by-election in Upper Bann.) We must not lose our cross community appeal.
Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the
end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark
before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
but no Ark.
Noah! He roared, I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?
My neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the
Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an impact study on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, the HM Customs seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'
'No,' said the Lord.
'This Labour government beat me to it.